A long time coming Part Two

So we married and moved in with his parents, basically picking up our live where he had left his at 19. And...it...was....terrible. Just awful. I suddenly found myself married, yet living like a teenager. All the things I'd loved about him while we were traveling and dating, I hated in marriage. I realized that dd was something that I just couldn't live without. I could put it out of my mind for periods of a time but it always came back, insistently. It crept into the corner of my mind and suddenly I'd be reading stories everyday, thinking about it constantly. Worse I was treating my husband terribly. I started pushing him at every turn. Talking down to him all the time, badgering him into submission during all our arguments(which I started over nothing) and generally making us both miserable. We loved each other, and our relationship never went into real jeopardy, but it certainly wasn't what I'd hoped for, and I did storm out a number of times.

About 6 months in, I finally told him I wanted a more "traditional" relationship, and my real feelings about spanking began to come out. It was very slow though, and he wasn't really quite ready to pick up the reigns. He would in moments, but there was not consistency. We moved back to America after our second year of marriage, and I became pregnant with our firsthild. He practically changed overnight. We both cleaned up our acts and settled into married life. We tried introducing dd again but as I became more and more pregnant it slipped away. After the birth of our daughter, spanking didn't even enter my mind for a few months. When it finally did, we began again but it has never stayed consistent.

WHICH


 brings us to now. I'm currently in the early second trimester of my second pregnancy, and we are once again working on finally making my fantasy a reality. Although I'm not foolish enough to believe they will match up perfectly, not to say I don't wish it did sometimes. And so I'm starting this blog, to share my journey, my expectations, disappointments, and hopefully growth.

Hmmm, I have to get the little girl down for a nap and I haven't cleaned the house at all. Cal is due home between 3 and 4. It's almost 1 now...I should have time...we'll see.