I'm going to preface this article by saying that I do intend to edit it, as I didn't really put enough time into it, but I will be leaving it up until I have the time, hopefully that will be sometime this week, although since we are moving, who knows...
What qualifies as an effective spanking? Is it one in which the ass is left bruised? Or burning red? Is it about strength, or number of strokes? Does the spankee have to be in tears? Beyond tears? How does a spanker know what is enough and what isn't?
There are many articles dedicated to this, all containing personal preferences. But I have found them all interesting to read, (although I have not showed any to Cal as of yet, for fear he might decide to give them all a try...I've decided he doesn't need anymore information on the subject ;). But for those of you who are thinking of implementing dd into your lives, or already have but are unsure if the severity is where it needs to be, here are some tips from articles I've found in my searches:
Number of Strokes
"One Way to Give a Hard Spanking". This article suggests the use of a counted number of strokes:
A hard spanking might consist of the following:
- 40 strokes with a light paddle, ruler or kitchen spatula, 20 over the panties, 20 on the bare bottom
- 40 strokes with a rattan cane
- 20 strokes with a carbon fibre or nylon cane or riding crop
- 40 strokes with a bath brush or heavy paddle, the last twenty given extra hard.
I think where the difficulty lies within the article is "just what is a HARD stroke?" A woman might have to go to her full force, while a man might do serious damage using full force. And it could be about the spankee's reaction, but that can be hard to gauge when you haven't been doing ttwd with your partner for very long. However, there is something to be said for simply counting number of strokes. It gives both you and possibly the spankee(especially if they have to count) something to focus on. I don't think I've ever had a spanking with so many strokes, but then again, I still haven't experienced the can or a riding crop. Although the bath brush is MEAN!
Learn to use your Hand Effectively
The "Spanking Primer" by Josh, found in the library section of Bethany's Woodshed. This article promotes that all dd spankings be on the bare:
The bottom is always bare for this kind of activity. There are a variety of reasons for this. You need to see the effects it's having on her bottom and that only shows on bare skin. It's also more intimate and for some reason, seems to be interpreted in terms of; "He really means business here!"
But what I found most useful in the article was subject of hand spanking:
If you really want to give spanking a fair trial though, the first thing you need to do is stop thinking of your hand as a paddle. Think of it as something more flexible, such as a switch or strap and use it accordingly. Relax your hand and hold it out in front of you and look at it. You'll notice that the fingers naturally splay out with a fraction of an inch of space between them. Keep it relaxed and try it out on your own thigh a few times letting the wrist snap and swinging more from the elbow than the shoulder and unless you're the exception, you'll see the difference immediately. It will sting your thigh more than it does your hand.
The motion is more like flicking debris off your trousers then trying to connect with a fast ball, except that it's almost straight down. I say almost, because it's more of a circular motion that involves pulling your hand back on contact and letting it rebound with the natural resilience of your target.
That may sound complicated, but it's really simple and once you get the hang of it, you can give a longer, stingier spanking without as much bruising for her and less damage to your hand. The reason for that, is that you'll be striking with the more protected part of your hand instead of your knuckles.
Inefficient use of a hand during spanking, is something I've heard about a lot in various forums. Not only can a spanker injure themselves,(and a hand injury is a lot more serious and lasting than a sore bottom) the spankee may find that a hand spanking is quite bearable since some smacks are landing much harder than others so there is a chance for them to catch their breath. But when used correctly, nothing is quite as thrilling/intimidating as knowing he has an efficient implement with him at all times....
Learning to Read the Spankee
The author of this article is against counting strokes or minutes at a certain impact and states:
The man needs to be less concerned with textbook numbers and more concerned with the state of mind of his wife. He also needs to be concerned with the physical effects, but the most important aspect is the psychological. Is she still defiant? Has he been sufficiently thorough? Is she now crying freely and clinging to him? Does it seem as though she can't take any more?
Does she seem not to have been much affected yet? Does that seem likely given what he has done, or could it be that something has gone wrong, and that she is unable to show how it is affecting her? If he asks her to rate honestly what he has done so far on a range of 1 to 10 where 10 would be on the unbearable end (the ‘enough!’ end), and 1 would be barely feeling it, how does she respond?
The article also goes on to describe different things which might effect the spanking, including the temperature. One passage in particular, I felt really spoke to my experience of spanking:
Some men over-estimate what a woman can take; more men underestimate what is needed. What is needed depends so much on the individual woman that it is a good idea to talk about this if possible. Some women prefer lighter, less injurious spankings often, but many seem to crave a really thorough spanking less often but on a regular basis. The man needs to know which kind of woman his wife is.
Many women complain that their husbands are not thorough enough. They actually want the man to continue way beyond what the man thinks is enough. They want him to continue even when they are screaming for him to stop and seem to be thinking that he is a monster. They want him to continue through that, and even to keep going after she has given up the fight. They feel somehow cheated when the man stops the moment she has given up the fight, or the moment she starts crying, or the moment she seems peaceful. They want more, even when they don't seem to need any more. (Think of another intimate situation in which a woman often has to tell an inexperienced man to keep going and not to stop what he is doing. It is like that only more so, whether she is saying “Don't stop! Don't stop!” or not.)
I certainly never feel like this during the actual spanking, but afterwards there is sometimes a lingering feeling. Cal is getting very good at recognizing this, but it has taken a while.
The Final Six
This idea I ran into while checking out the ttwd forum. They also have a post on effective spankings. It seems many of the members use something we will call "The Final Six" to gauge whether the spanking has been effective. This is where the spanker asks the spankee if they are ready for their "final six" and gauges the spankees response. For instance, the spankee might still be displaying attitude or not seem sincere, in which case the spanking would continue. It also gives the spankee a chance to admit they haven't had enough without outright saying it. It can be a final six, a "have you had enough" "are you learning your lesson" basically just a verbal cue.
The problem with this for me is that I am a trained actor. I literally have a degree in theater, and I know what to say and how to sound sincere, although I have noticed that a few moments after the spanking, I drop out of the submissive act, if it's not sincere. Either I"m going to have to tell Cal this, or start admitting that even though it stings something terrible, I'm not quite done.
Let me just end by saying I really think all these article are worth a read, and that I only took short passages, so there is a lot more information to be gleaned from all of them. There are a number of other articles on the subject, some I agree with more than others. But for information's sake...
There you have it, all the information I've gathered on effective spankings, enjoy!
